Life After Death
by Lionchilde
Summary: After the events of The Crystal Skull, Daniel has some thinking to do. DanJan, AU
1. Risk

  
Last year, I accepted the challenge of writing 101 fanfictions about Daniel Jackson on a livejournal community. Chapters from my AU D/V fics contributed to some of that goal, but I have some other oneshot ficlets that haven't been posted here, so I've decided to. Again, some are connected to my Rediscovered Hearts 'verse; others are not, so I'm going to post them all separately rather than making a collection. 

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This started as a simple one-shot follow up to The Crystal Skull, and it kept going on me.

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He set down the pencil with a hard clack and pushed back the chair. Then, nodding to himself, Daniel shoved himself to his feet and started for his office door. Not quite reaching it, he turned around again, and walked back to the desk, where he sat down and picked up his notes. A minute later, he had set them back onto the cluttered surface.

"This is ridiculous," he told himself, resting his forehead on the palm of his hand. SG-1 had returned from their second trip to P7X-377 almost a week ago. As usual, of course, they'd gone straight to the infirmary, where Janet had given them their post mission health check, and cleared them for duty. His head had still been full of all the things he'd promised himself that he was going to tell her--things he'd only even had the courage to start _admitting_ when he was under the effects of the Skull, out of phase, and thought he'd never have the chance.

Somehow, though, he'd never managed to say any of those things. His mouth had gone dry, his heart started hammering, and then she'd restricted the whole team to Earth for three days because she could find no medical reason to explain his sweaty palms, spiking blood pressure or sudden rapid respiration. Try as he might to offer the real explanation, his tongue had suddenly felt three sizes too big for his mouth, and his command of the English language was reduced to monosyllabic grunts, headshakes and shrugs, while his mind refused to move past the confused expressions of his perfectly healthy teammates nearby.

There had been coffee the following afternoon in the commissary, and he tried again. It _should_ have been simple. He'd rehearsed it enough times while he sat invisible on the counter in the infirmary or lingered in her office doorway. He'd gotten as far as the part about regrets and "--a lot of things I should've said--". Then he noticed her looking up at him--quietly, her face open and attentive, completely at ease as she stirred her coffee. His breath caught in his throat, and he stared down at the dark brown liquid in his own cup, then back up at her.

"To Nick?" she asked with a little smile of encouragement.

"Uh…yeah," he heard himself reply. "I guess--I guess--you just--don't think about all those things until…something happens like this."

"Well, at least it looks like you and Nick will get another chance," she reminded him. "A lot of people never have that."

"No…" Daniel swallowed, looking away again as his throat began to tighten. "No, they don't."

"Oh," Janet's tone became instantly contrite. "Daniel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"It's okay, Janet," he replied, smiling as she reached to touch the back of his hand. "Listen, I--I--I really should get back to work…"

Now he let out a frustrated sigh at his own cowardice. Tossing the notebook back onto the desk, he sprang to his feet and strode out of the office, gritting his teeth in determination. He passed Sam and Jack in the hall. The pair was dressed in street clothes and headed for the elevator, but he slid past them without stopping. Part of him wondered what his friends were up to, and their eyes on his back told him he'd have an interrogation of his own to deal with later, but he only quickened his pace toward the infirmary, knowing that if he stopped to talk now, he'd lose his nerve again.

She was catching up on paperwork, and looked up with a start as he burst into her office. He froze, immediately feeling his pulse begin to pound again. His mouth worked for a moment without producing sound, and Janet's brow furrowed in concern.

"Daniel?" she asked.

"Uh, hi…" he replied, clutching the doorframe.

"Everything okay?" she continued.

"Yeah--well, no--Janet, I wanted to apologize…"

"For what?" her frown deepened.

"Oh, y'know…the--the other day. In the commissary. I just--sometimes it still hits me pretty hard. I miss her."

"I know," Janet nodded. "Sha're was your wife..."

He ducked his head, letting out a heavy sigh, but finally nodded. "I think part of the problem is…" he began, looking up again. The words trembled on the tip of his tongue, though, and he couldn't force them past his suddenly dry lips.

_…how I feel about you…I think part of the problem is how I feel about you! Just say it!_ he growled at himself silently.

"Just give yourself time, Daniel," Janet smiled, turning back to the writing on her desk.

"Yeah," he sighed, turning to leave again. He halted in the main infirmary, leaning against the wall for several minutes, but couldn't force his legs back in the direction of her office. When the medical staff started eyeing him questioningly, he left. He found himself trudging in the general direction of Teal'c's quarters, although he hadn't had a conscious intention of going there.

Once he was directly outside the Jaffa's door and let out a sigh. It was either go in or walk back to the infirmary and make an even bigger fool of himself, though, so he finally sucked up his courage and knocked.

"Enter," rumbled Teal'c from the other side of the door.

Daniel edged his head inside, his eyes widening at the sight of his friend not only watching television, but watching something that was unmistakably a music video of Fat by Weird Al Yankovich. Teal'c picked up the remote control and snapped off the TV. Daniel squeezed through the door without fully opening it, then leaned back to push it shut.

"You, um, like Weird Al?" he asked.

"I find the concept of musical parodies intriguing," Teal'c replied.

"Ah, right," Daniel nodded. "I was…uh…wondering if you knew where Jack and Sam took off to."

"It would seem that O'Neill lost a recent wager with MajorCarter and now must accompany her to a performance of the musical Annie at the local repertoire theater," Teal'c explained.

"Annie?" Daniel's eyebrows rose.

"Indeed," nodded Teal'c distastefully.

"I wouldn't have thought that to be Sam's first choice," Daniel observed.

"O'Neill believed that she chose this particular production chiefly for the sake of his lack of enjoyment," Teal'c agreed.

"Now, that I'd believe," Daniel nodded. He fell silent again, biting his lip, and Teal'c's eyebrow rose.

"Is something troubling you, DanielJackson?" the Jaffa asked.

"I…um…" Daniel began with a sigh. "Well. When I was…y'know, invisible, I started to realize that there were some things I wanted to say--no. Things I needed to say to Janet. Of course, I couldn't--or, I could, but she couldn't hear me anyway, so it doesn't really matter…"

"You have not spoken of these things to DoctorFraiser since our return from the world of the Crystal Skull," Teal'c said, not really a question.

"No," Daniel shook his head. "I keep…well, that's the thing. I don't know what I keep doing, Teal'c."

The Jaffa nodded. "There are many things which I would have liked to say to Drey'auc when SG-1 last visited Chulak. Under the circumstances, there was no opportunity. I must trust that my wife is aware of those things I did not say."

"But, since I _have_ the chance, I really ought to just…quit chickening out, huh?" Daniel finished the thought.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed. "I will accompany you."

"Huh?"

"To the infirmary," Teal'c said, rising smoothly from the bed.

"Right now?" Daniel squeaked, swallowing hard.

"Indeed," said Teal'c flatly.

"Okay," sighed Daniel as he reluctantly turned to open the door again.

The two friends trekked back up the hall that Daniel had just come down. Teal'c, however, paused at the door, gesturing the archaeologist back inside. Daniel sucked in a long breath and marched back to Janet's office.

She looked up again, eyes widening. "Hi…" she said, frowning.

"Janet--never mind," Daniel shook his head, whirling around. He scurried back toward the door, feeling his face and neck redden as he was aware of her following him out.

"Daniel…?" she called questioningly.

Teal'c appeared in the doorway and Daniel froze again. The Jaffa raised an eyebrow, and Daniel hung his head, turning around again. Slowly raising his eyes, he trudged back to stand in front of her.

"Are you feeling all right?" Janet asked.

"Not really, no," he confessed, shaking his head.

"Okay," Janet said carefully. "Why don't we go--hey!"

Daniel's hands shot out before he even knew what he was doing. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he yanked her hard against him. She struggled for a moment, but as his lips covered hers, he felt her tense frame soften and her arms slid around his neck. Janet twined her fingers in his hair, holding him there until they were both breathless and shaking from the sudden liplock. Finally, reluctantly, he slid his mouth away, and her fingers trailed downward, lingering on his cheeks.

"Much better," Daniel whispered as Teal'c turned and walked back to his quarters, a small smile touching his lips as he went.


	2. Consequences

  


**Consequences**

The lake was a place that Cassie had always loved. It wasn't often that the whole team was able to spend a Saturday here, and even though she had fun when it was just herself and Janet, having everyone there usually put a day long grin on the Hankan girl's face. Today she wandered away from the picnic and went down to the water's edge, where they could just make out her figure slumped in the sand with her knees drawn up to her chest.

On the blanket beside Janet, Daniel bit his lip. "Maybe I should, um, go sit by Jack or something," he decided.

"No," Janet's hand moved to brush his fingers. He smiled hesitantly and kissed her cheek, but his eyes drifted back toward her daughter.

"I'll talk to her," Sam offered, pushing herself to her feet.

She absently brushed off her pants as she moved, and walked down to the lake's edge, where she sat down beside Cassie. She wrapped her arms around her knees and rested her cheek on them, vaguely wondering why she'd bothered brushing the sand off of her pants when she'd gotten up from the picnic.

Cassie turned to look at her, and she pushed the thought aside. "You okay?" she asked.

"I dunno," Cassie shrugged, glancing over her shoulder toward the picnic.

"You upset with your mom?" Sam frowned.

"No…" Cassie said thoughtfully.

"With Daniel? It's okay if you are, y'know," Sam assured her.

"Mmm-mmm," Cassie shook her head. "Not really. It's just--weird."

"Yeah, it is a little," Sam agreed.

"I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel," confessed Cassie.

"How _do_ you feel?" Sam asked.

"Grossed out. I went downstairs to say hi when they came home from the movies the other night and he was _kissing her_ in the kitchen. I know they didn't know I was awake, but still," related Cassie.

"Mark and I caught Dad kissing a girl in the garage once a few years after Mom died," Sam told her.

Cassie laughed a little, then sighed heavily. "That's the other thing. I mean, I'm just starting to really get used to things here. Is he supposed to be my dad now?"

"No," promised Sam with a shake of her head. "Not unless you want him to someday."

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Daniel felt his stomach tighten as Sam and Cassie approached. He started to pull his hand away from Janet's, but her fingers tightened meaningfully on his. Cassie, however, was smiling brightly as they reached the picnic blanket. She fell to her knees in the grass beside it and began rooting through the basket. Daniel glanced questioningly toward Sam, but the only response he got was a wink.

"The ducks are here," Cassie said, looking up at them. "You two want to come help feed them?"

"Why don't we all go?" Daniel suggested with a smile. In another year or two, feeding ducks would be the last thing on Cassie's mind, and he knew the team wouldn't have many more opportunities like this. He climbed to his feet and offered Janet a hand, then glanced toward Jack and Teal'c, who were already putting away the chess board to come with them.  



	3. Real And Imagined

Daniel jolted awake and sat up in bed, pulling the covers with him. Janet woke when he did and pushed herself up in alarm. Her arm slid softly around him, and she could feel the muscles of his back quivering. He drew in a shaky breath and let it out again.

"Did you have that dream again?" she frowned. He'd told her that in the first few weeks following Sha're's death, he'd relived the experience that he'd had in Ammaunet's ribbon device almost every night. That had been more than a year ago, now, though. This was the third night in a row that he'd woken from the old dream sweaty and shaking.

"It--it seems so real," he nodded. "I can feel her--I can taste her."

"You okay?" she asked, drawing him back against her. 

She guided his head down against her breast, stroking his hair soothingly, and he gave another nod. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to keep doing this. I--I don't know what's going on."

"You can't control your dreams," Janet shook her head.

"I know that. I just…feel like I shouldn't…"

"Sha're will always be part of you, Daniel," Janet told him quietly. "Let her be." 


	4. Handy

By request for Ladybeth

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Cassie came downstairs to find Daniel under the sink. He had a wrench in one hand and was clattering and banging around under there enough to give her the vague impression that he was trying to fix it. Things also didn't seem to be going very well, judging from the amount of muttering and grumbling he was doing. She watched him for a few seconds, biting her lip in an effort not to laugh, but when a resounding clang echoed through the kitchen, she gave up.

Commendably, she managed to contain her laughter after only a short giggle. Then she covered her mouth with her hand, but Daniel had already scooted out onto the floor, where he lay peering up at her with one eye open. She took a breath to steel herself against another fit of mirth and dropped her hand.

"Hi," she attempted.

"Hi," he smiled back.

"Um, what are you doing?" she wanted to know.

"There's a clog in the sink," he explained. "Your mom asked me to--well, actually, your mom was going to call Sam."

Cassie smiled and turned toward the cabinets on the other side of the room. She flipped both open and stood studying their contents for a while, then took down a jar of peanut butter and the strawberry jelly. She set them on the counter and reached down to open the drawer directly to her left.

"You want some lunch?" she asked.

"Sure," replied Daniel, who had already pushed himself back under the sink. "Gimme a few minutes."

"You know, Daniel, just because you're dating my mom doesn't mean you suddenly have to do all the odd jobs and stuff around here," Cassie said conversationally.

"I know. It just seemed like a pretty simple--" he broke off as a second clang reverberated through the room. "Um, Cass…?"

"Yeah?"

"Better call Sam," he said worriedly.

"She's already on her way," Cassie assured him.

"Good."


End file.
